When I Wait You Strengthen My Heart 

I saw God today. He stared me right in the eyes and called me by my name. I found him on the top of a mountain, as I sat staring into the toppling hills that were alive and on fire. It’s days like this that I remember the times God has shown himself to me. He has appeared by my side in my garden. However, at that time, I was calling this almighty power mother. In the garden, now enveloped in darkness, there lived tumbling weeds, over-grown grass, trees that tower the night sky, while some of the garden contained wooden fencing that kept out the neighboring dogs. The weeds grew rampantly along the edge of the gates and in the over-grown bushes were families of buzzing brilliant insects, butterflies, that flew around the edge of my head and graced me with their soft delicate kisses, all heartbreakingly gentle and beautiful; snails, spiders, angry horseflies- and, lord of everything, pray mantises. However, closest to my heart is the glass stricken winged jewel- the dragon fly. These creatures would bring tears to my eyes to see the glass painted work of art that encompassed their entire being. And then at night, occupying the whole of the soft darkness: fireflies or more appropriately entitled, “lighting bugs.” Hundreds of them like flickering stars setting the nights dreary and desolate darkness on fire. However, all of those are only the minature/ microscopic workings of the hands of God. It wasn’t until I looked towards the sky that I truly saw God. It didn’t happen right away. When I gazed into the night sky and waited, patiently on The Lord. Suddenly, incomprehensibly, and all at once I saw the heavens strewn with millions of stars. Millions of points of light. Millions of worlds. All representing who we are. It was as if God, himself, were calling my name saying, “Yes. I am here. Don’t you like my garment. My cloak.” That’s God I thought to myself and as that realization dawned in the garden of my heart I wept for hours. For it didn’t occur to me what truly happened at that time, that God had shown himself to me, but I felt as if all the questions of the world had been slowly answered. For what I truly learned was not that there is some omnipotent hierarchical being staring down upon us from a thrown. No. In the dissolving blackness of the night sky, I looked into the beginnings of heaven and I realized it was me. It has been me all this time. It was the power of the universe inside of me. It was the humbling knowledge of the universes’ beautiful and radiant existence that sent an electrical surge of wonder down the back of my spine.

It is days like this… And the night were I found God… That I am truly, utterly grateful for The Universe. 

 

 

 

 

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